Not a scripture-based post today, just a little tool that I use to try to get myself “back out of my tree”.

When something has me concerned or freaked out, I often have difficulty just determining whether this is really a big deal or not.  I start to worry (which is a sin!) about whether I offended someone, did I post something that I shouldn’t have, should I have extended more grace in this situation, did I make a fool of myself, did I talk too much, etc,  and then my brain and my thoughts take on a life of their own.  Eventually my anxiety reaches “critical mass”  and you cannot reason with me, the situation has taken over my thoughts and the whole thing consumes me.

Anxiety takes over.

Depression follows soon after.

I’m left sitting in my mud puddle over what was likely a non-issue.

I don’t remember where I heard this but I have applied it to my life and it has helped me tremendously.  While I still struggle with “worry”, this little tool has helped me to toss aside some of the smaller worries. So… here it is:  The Rule of 3’s.

When an event/thought/ etc occurs and you start to go “skyward” and begin the process of freaking out ask yourself a few questions:

Is this issue going to matter (have a negative effect on my life) in three hours?

Is this issue going to matter in 3 days?

Is this issue going to matter in 3 weeks?

Is this issue going to matter in 3 months?

What about three years?

Three decades?

When you go through these questions, if something is not going to have a negative impact on you, your family, the other individual involved, etc in 3 weeks… what you have is a minor annoyance or “blip on the radar”.  Just deal with the issue head on.  If it is an interpersonal issue either… say your apologies, extend forgiveness, talk it out, whatever, but with the idea that this was not a major issue.

Here’s an example of this at work:

This week I discovered that a vendor for my business posted something negative about our company on a public forum.  The vendor did not contact us regarding any issues and I was just “surfing the internet” when I found the post.  I started to freak out.

But… based on the rule of three’s…

This issue would still have an effect on my life in 3 hours and in three days.  But, it may not have an effect on me in three weeks.  That would depend on how I handled it.  If I handled it badly, then it will effect my life for three months or more.  But if I took care of it directly?  It may end in a matter of days.

I prayed about the issue, told God how mad I was about it and then wrote a polite post asking the vendor to please contact me regarding the difficulties they expressed.  Result?  The vendor backed down, apologized for the post and others on the thread began to support us for being up front and polite in our response.  What started out as a negative for our business has instead been very positive for our business.

But what if I had responded out of anxiety, hurt feelings, anger?  I probably would have a huge mess on my hands (out in the open and also within my spirit) that would effect my life for  3 months or even longer.  By using the rule of 3’s, I was able to put the “offense” in perspective and respond in an appropriate manner…not over react.

Using the rule of 3’s is  a good way to gain perspective and to use a little more wisdom when responding to those events that cause us anxiety and try to derail our attempts to overcome that stronghold.